hey "friend", before you ask me, nay, demand, a donation towards a mutual friend's retirement party, fucking ask me if I "would like to go in on it" before you decide to obligate everyone. Because, as a matter of fact, I would not like finance your present to aforementioned mutual friend as my own present will be costly enough (and coincidentally is almost the exact same price as 'yours') but did I ask everyone to pitch in ? no, because a) I didnt consult anyone first, b) because im not a flaming asshole. emphasis on flaming. But I will give to your cause because I understand the concept of picking one's battles. So not only will I get my own present but I guess I will be getting some of yours too... next time, sweetie, make sure you can afford your own damn present.

--- office prick down the hall