sit down! and don't hang out standing at the doors on the bus -if you want to be nice or polite and give up your seat on a crowded bus - do that, that's great - but if there are seats available sit down - the reason why - as a person with a mobility issue - I find it is very challenging to get around you when you block the doors or stand close to the driver - so just sit down and save me the hassle of trying to get around you

---cane carrying bus taker

Just because our desks are next to each other does not mean I want to spend every spare minute of my day hearing every detail about your urinary tract infection or whatever other pointless personal life story you wish to share, you ignorant, ignorant toad. You speak only to hear yourself talk, and you argue solely for the sake of arguing. Whether I agree or disagree with what you have just spent the past half hour talking about, you are guaranteed to spend at least twice as long repeating yourself after I had simply nodded my head or commented. "Realistically" you do not talk TO people, you talk AT them, because what you have to say is less an opinion, and more a fact.

And for Christ's sake, when I have my iPod earphones in, it means I want you to shut the fuck up, not talk louder. I do not want to listen to you complain, or sigh, or whine, or bitch, or nag, or any of that other bullshit I have to deal with every day. You complain when you are busy, and you complain more when you are not. You help others only when it is beneficial to you, and the minute some sort of effort is required you disappear. Do not interrupt me, or anybody else for that matter, because it is more than likely that what you have to say is much less important and much more rude. Lastly I would like to send my condolences & regards to your significant other, who has tolerated all of this for much longer than I could ever bear. Mother Teresa's got nothin' on him.

---Princess Leia

I HATE HIM I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!

HE'S SUCH A FUCKING LOSER!!! ALL HE DOES IS SKATEBOARD ALL FUCKING DAY AND WATCH SKATEBOARDING VIDEOS AND LOOK AT SKATEBOARDING PICTURES AND WASTE HIS LIFE!!! HE'S AS SKINNY AS A POLE AND DOESN'T EVEN FEED HIMSELF!! HE LOAFS ALL DAY LONG WHEN HE'S NOT SKATEBOARDING AND CALLS ME A FAG ALL THE TIME FOR NO REASON!!! HE'S SUCH A LOSER!!!! IF HE DIED I WOULD NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY AT HIS FUNERAL. HE'S SUCH A FUCKING GOOD FOR NOTHIING....LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT ONE MORE YEAR AND I'M OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COMING BACK HE CAN ROT IN HELL FOR ALL I CARE. MOM DONT TELL ME TO BE NICE TO HIM ANYMORE BECAUSE HES SUCH A GODDAMN LOSER!!!!! HOLY FUCK!!! IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY SKATEBOARDING VIDEO HE WATCHED ID BE FUCKING RICH!!! IT JUST NEVER ENDS1!!! UGGGH I HATE HIM SO SOS SOSOSOSOS MUCH!!! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!! I COME HOME AND HE'S SITTING THERE, I DRIVE BY IN THE CENTER AND HE'S SKATEBOARDING THERE, HE'S JUST SUCH A LOSER!!!!!!!!!! A LOSER!!!!!!!!!!LOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSER
LOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLOSERLSER....

AND HE'S SO LAZY!!!!!! HE ASKS ME TO FUCKING GET STUFF FOR HIM~!! WHAT??? WHY WOULD I EVER GET ANYTHING FOR YOU??? DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF FOR A CHANGE INSTEAD OF OBSESSING...I think he has OCD. I really do. He watches goddamn skateboarding videos all day long so much that it scares me, how much someone can stare at a screen for so long. I hope he dies so he can't watch anymore skateboarding videos in heaven. Or maybe he'll go to hell. That would be better. I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH OMGO OMG ONE TIME WE WENT ON A SAFARI AND WE WERE LOOKING AT THE ANIMALS, WELL I THOUGHT HE WAS LOOKING AT THE ANIMALS, BUT THEN I LOOKED OVER AND HE'S STARING AT HIS CELL PHONE!!! WTF!!! AND THEN IT GETS WORSE I LEANED OVER TO SEE WHAT HE WAS DOING AND A MOTHERFUCKING SKATEBOARDING VIDEO WAS ON!!!!!

OMGOMAOGA;DHJGAHR[AOJWO HES SUCH A LOSER I CANNOT STAND IT I WOULD RATER TAPE UP MY WHOLE FACE THAN STARE AT HIM FOR MORE THAN 2 SECONDS AND HE IS SO UGLY HE SHOULD JUST STICK HIS FACE IN TAR AND THEN PUT FEATHERS ON IT!!

O AND ANOTHER THING...HE USED TO BE POPULAR AND STUFF AND GO OUT WITH PRETTY GIRLS BUT ONCE HE STARTED SKATEBOARDING NO NONO THAT WAS ALLL GONE!!!!! HE LOST ALL HIS POPULAR FRIENDS AND GIRLS AND IS HANGING OUT IWTH LOSER KIDS!!!! WTF!!!! HIS FREIDNS DONT EVEN TALK THERE SO WEIRD AND THEIR JUST AS OBSESSED WITH MOTHERFUCKING SKATEBOARDING AS HE IS!!! OMG I JUST WANT THEM ALL TO EMBARRASES THEMSELVES IN FRONT OF MEGAN FOX!!! THEN THEY WILL WANT TO DIE!!! OOH I HOPE MEGAN FOX SAYS TO THEM: YOU'RE ALL LOSERS B/C YOU SKATEBOARD I WOULD NEVER DATE TWERPS LIKE YOU GUYS....AND THEN THEIR SELF ESTEEM WOULD DIE AND THEY WOULD SHAVE THEIR HEADS...OMG I HATE THEM ALL I HATE ALL SKATEBOARDERS ALL THEY DO IS FALLOON THEIR FACES AND FAIL.....WTF!!!!!!!!!

---I HATE MY BROTHER

So, I decide that I want to slow things down a bit--the City is getting kind of rough--and I find this charming little house that was nestled into the foothills of Death Valley (its nickname). It wasn't the prettiest of houses, but I fell in love with its enormous, screened-in balcony that hung over the mountain stream. The only doubts I had were about the owner of the house, but since I wrote out cheques to cover the rent for the next 6 months, I wasn't too worried about him. So, I settle into the quiet life. Only, it's not so quiet. Each night, I am woke out of my sleep by a pair of racoons who, no matter what barrier I devise, break into my house and trash the balcony. Skunks spray all over my yard, startled, no doubt, by the bear who uses my lawn as a toilet (judging by the enormous piles of chokecherry pits he leaves behind). And the huge wildcat, I don't know what he does in my yard, and I wasn't going out to see. But, in spite of all of these visitors (and more), I still loved my house.

Yet, within three months, I was clawing my way back to the city.

It started one day when I got out of the shower and opened the bathroom door to come face to face with my creepy landlord. He said he knocked first, but I didn't answer, so he let himself in. I asked him what he wanted. He told me the rent. I tell him its not due for a few more days, and he has the cheque I wrote him. He said he needed money now, as he is going away and won't be around to cash the cheque. I told him I don't have that much cash on me, so he took what I did have. Over the next few weeks, I notice my bar seems to be depleting, especially my cooking liqueurs, but I haven't had company. So, I buy extra locks for the doors and windows. One day soon after, I come home, and who's in my house after breaking out a window? You got it--my landlord. He starts to verbally attack me for locking him out of his house.

Then, I accept an invitation to a house in a nearby town. While there, a car comes charging up the road, shoots a round ammo into the house and then races away. Are you kidding me? A drive-by in this sleepy little town! I grew up in Toronto and have never had anything like this happen to me.

Then, my daughter makes a friend. She is asked to sleep over. It was a strange room, and there was this big stuffed animal in the corner that scared her when the lights went out. When the girl's father came in, and she expressed her fear, his solution was to grab it by the neck, haul it outside, take aim with his shotgun and blow its head off. Strangely, this didn't placate her.

Anyway, after 3 months of other weird and scary things happening, I packed it in and I run back to the city.

A week later, my landlord ended up in jail for a violent crime.

Slow, quiet life surrounded by simple folk, indeed.

---Thank god I'm a city girl

I work for a airline and part of my job is to inform people that they need a passport to fly from the U.S. to Canada. Something like 70% of Americans do not have passports, so when I tell them they need a passport it becomes a big effing thing. Wake the fuck up and get a fucking passport. I can't change the rules, accept it and just fucking get one.

---Has a passport

Picture it: I'm standing there, in a local book shop, trying to look for a book (obviously). A woman is nearby, with her 6 kids. All the kids want books. The mother says "I'm not buying books just so you kids can sit around and read all day!" - lovely example of supporting literacy these days. The mother leads her 6 kids, in single file towards where I am standing, just minding my business. I'm standing about 2-3 feet away from the bookshelf, there was tonnes of room for her and her offspring to walk behind me, but NO!! They have to walk infront of me. The mother actually stops right infront of me, her purse pushing me back. Her kids are all screaming around me. She starts scolding one child, her hair nearly rubbing my face! I clear my throat - nothing, no movement or recognition of my existence. I say "excuse me...". She turns around. She was so close to me, that while turning around, her face basically rubs all over my chest (I'm refusing to move!), and says to me, "Can't you see I'm busy?!?" I say, "I don't care. I was standing here, you could have had the basic decency to say excuse me or at least tell your children that this sort of behaviour isn't proper in a public place". She lets out a loud "UGH!" and leads her children away. 10 minutes later, I hear another woman say "Excuse me lady, if you and your children can't behave here, then you can leave!".

So, to the short, frosty-banged woman who has way too many children: Cross my path again lady, and I'll throw one of your children at you. You have 6 of them, you can spare one at least. And great fucking parenting skills...you set an amazing example for your children. No wonder they act like animals...stupid surburban bitch!

---LivingintheH-Dot

Im not naming names due to the Coast's rules on that, so I wont. A Local television station has had a long standing run of showing "The Simpsons" EVERY weekday at 5PM, its been like this for years and years, we cant depend on anything in this world but we can depend on the Simpsons at supper time. Today I turn it on and what do I see? Just for Laughs (makes me) Gag(s) WHAT THE FUCK? Ever since I was a kid, 5pm is prime Simpsons time, I mean, mabye it would be forgivable if you replaced it with some other GOOD show, but, Just for laughs Gags? Seriously? Why? Why would you do this? You have let me and I'm sure many other viewers down. I dont care if I've seen every episode of The Simpsons 50 times each, I want to watch it at 5:00 like I always have. Thanks for nothing :(

---Having a cow, man

I'd love to see the Coast do an article on some of the regular bitchers, using their monikers and avitars only to protect the innocent. It would be most enlightening to know who's behind the comments.

---Curious as Shit

what the fuck is up with no dogs in every apartment building! i have been looking everywhere! and nothing. no dogs, no smoking, no having lives. thanks to the assholes that let their dogs piss and shit all over everything and now we have to suffer for it! if people took a risk and said yes to pets i wouldn't have this problem! i just want my dog and 4 cats to have a place to live!

---mans best friend.

This is for you and your big mouth! You know too much! You engage your mouth before you try making your brain work. FYI, it is YOU who is working and on welfare and not reporting your wages. I hope the fuck you get caught and your sorry ass lands behind prison bars!!! You need to mind your own fucking business, you scrawny ugly bitch!

---Fed Freaking Up!