Posted
on Mon, Nov 30, 2009 at 5:33 PM
Stop reporting about the car accident a certain pro golfer got into! First of all, no one gives a shit. Second of all, this is NOT news! I've seen it urgently discussed on FIVE reputable (or so I thought) news stations already! This is the sort of thing entertainment news does, celebrity gossip and speculation. One station even quoted that Mr. Pro Golfer wanted to keep the accident a private matter, sweet irony. There are more news-worthy stories out there, do your job and find them!
--Val