To the idiot who decided to commandeer my table and then throw a bunch of shit in my food when I went to the bar to get a drink: I just wanted to grab a drink. I left my bag there as a (painfully obvious) sign that I'd be right back and what did you do? Sat down, pushed my bag aside and then threw a bunch of leftovers in the meal I'd just ordered. Why? What could possibly be gained from doing something so randomly, pointlessly dumb? Well... I have two theories.

1. You're astoundingly stupid. The clear signs that someone was sitting there, and was engaged with that food, signs that a chimp would understand, were completely lost on you.

2. You're just a nasty bitch who, for some reason or another, was offended by my presence.

In any event, fuck you. I've been sick. For years. Tonight was one of the first nights that I felt well enough to leave my house at all. Maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal if I hadn't lost several years of my life to illness... I don't know... all I know is, you're a giant turd. —Hungry in Halifax