We can pretty much buy anything we want. Food, clothes, makeup, shoes, houses, cars. But in order to dramatically change our bodies, it normally means surgery (well to make things BIGGER anyways). Why can't I just take a vitamin and get bigger boobs? It's not like I'm flat by any means, I just want bigger boobs without getting cut open or wearing a heavily padded push-up bra! —Dreaming of big boobs

Why oh why do I have to be submitted to the dreaded nose whistler? Can't you hear it? I can from all the way over here. If your nose if whistling, you either suffer from some sort of nose problem like a hole in your septum or you have a booger up there. Chances are it is a booger. Please take a kleenex, blow your nose, and get rid of the whistle. —If it whistles... pick it and flick it

In the past 8 or 10 months, the cable company has implemented a policy of booking more service calls than the technicians can handle in a given day. The idea is that you are booked to wait home in case the technician gets freed up due to a cancelation or customer not home. They have every intention of calling you at 5 o'clock to lie to you about an outage or emergency being the reason why the tech was unable to attend, after you've waited all day for someone to show up.

I learned this from a technician when I asked them if they were ok because they seemed stressed. They told me they hated the fact that they were going to disappoint customers today despite every effort on their part and that the company was going to call customers and lie and blame them. —I guess the 80's are back in management as well as fashion?

Damn you thighs! I want to lose weight this year. I joined a gym. But you thighs, oh why, oh why must you cause me so much agony. You've both conspired and rubbed together plotting your ways, and now I am rubbed raw. Now I am left with tender loins, haven't been back, but the weight is more than before. —RawMeat

To the chain store selling imported furniture and panels, you need to know that I've visited various locations and it's always the same—staff so apathetic that anemia would be a step upward. They rarely talk to customers, and usually gather around the counter, chatting. Maybe I should write a letter to the company, who knows? So if you recognize yourself as one of these employees, wake up! It's no fun to visit a store where the staff look depressed and exhausted... oh, and by the way, the chat about your latest date wasn't cool. I wouldn't have wanted to see you again, either. Here's to change! —Customer with a sigh

You like the warmth of my keyboard, I get it, but I have a new screenshot saved to my desktop every day. Simple things, like the short cut on my key board turning off the wireless, take ages to figure out because I don’t understand how you’re little paws press the function key and the f2 key simultaneously. Then tonight, my computer is open to the log in screen, and my bloody keyboard doesn’t work! I’m about to turn my computer off and get the screw driver out when I finally am able to get a terminal window open and type in that, which tells me that my keyboard is indeed working. Finally figured out that you somehow got into the universal access preferences from the log in screen, and selected “slow keys” giving me the illusion that my keyboard wasn't working. How many different things can you do to my computer! —Keep Your Paws Off!

This dude who opened for GBS was the suckiest thing I ever saw. The blow up lobster was my thrill of his so-called entertaining. Yo dude you knew it was an outdoor event, but all you did was complain about the cold and your hand being cold. You fucking sucked! —Loved Allan Doyle and the lobster but yo dude from montreal get bent

To all the people that cover themselves in perfume and cologne before they get on the bus... STOP! No one wants to smell alcohol on their way to where they are going! You smell like the cast members of Jersey Shore. —Bus rider

To my annoying roommate, you had a fit the other day. I thought it was something serious. Nope, it was you complaining about being deleted by another 6 people on facebook, after being deleted by 5 people the previous week. You know why? Because you write about how much you love your fiance in every status—and you write several statuses a day!

"(you) is out to the mall...love ya babe"
"(you) booked the trip...love ya babe"
"(you) is off to work...love ya babe"

So on and so on... every one of your statuses these days end with "love ya babe"! We get it—you're in love and engaged. Congrats. Now shut the fuck up about it and maybe people will stop deleting you! —Roomie with no fb statuses

I despise the fake bums that are flooding Spring Garden Rd. I've recently found out that they make more money than I do. I overheard a conversation between two dudes in front of a coffee shop yesterday. One said he made $120 bucks on Saturday between 5pm and 2am. That really grinds my gears. As a result, there is no chance I provide any funds. If you want to help, donate to a shelter not to their coffee cups. —Bitter Ken