There was a time when I didn't believe in hell but I am sure now with every fibre of my being, that it exists and that I am right here in it. Basking in the midst of the molten fucking lava as we speak; shovelling coals into the fire pit; the devil Satan himself I'm sure, chuckling from his cushy air conditioned lakefront home.

My rent just increased $125 more per month because our new genius of a landlord decided to replace all the windows in the building to newer crank out style ones. Only our air conditioners don't fit in these new windows. The old ones were fine and fully functional and yet, this was the reasoning for the rental spike. My neighbours and I have been sweating like a bunch of pigs on roasting spits all fucking summer, temperatures soaring over a hundred degrees daily. When I open my apartment door, it is like an oven and it slaps you right in the face. My poor cat lies on the rug on a tiny slice of shade belly-up and comatose. There are no balconies in this horrendous shit hole-in-the-wall either. If you don't want to pass out, you must get a cold shower every five minutes on the dot and pour ice chips down your throat constantly.

I hate you new landlords, I hate your motherfucking guts! You charge each of us tenants over a grand more per year to live in this HELL HOLE, are you fucking serious? You want more fucking money? How about ripping up the puke green and brown '70s zebra carpeting? It's like your worst nightmare or a really bad acid trip and has withstood decades of dust mites, flea and bed bug infestations. How about patching up the holes in the walls, the mold in the tubs or securing the back door so it actually locks, and HEY if you're feeling super-dee-duper generous you could always get some appliances dated this century. But OH NO you don't give a rat's ass about anything except the building's outer aesthetics simply to draw in new tenants and trick them into your overpriced torture chamber. I hope you go bankrupt someday and are forced to live in your very own building so that you can BURN IN HELL like the rest of us! —Hotter Than The Hinges of Hades