I had the displeasure recently of waiting in line behind a hunchback and her hunchback daughter both texting and both displaying large hill-like growths on the napes of their necks. The smartphone as they call it—has caused smart people to become dumb. The mother-daughter texting team held the line-up twice by neglecting to move up. Then, when the counter attendant was ready to place their orders, the cro-magnon duo were again lost in their dumb phones. Need I remind you these gadgets were invented to make communication/everyday tasks easier but instead they are causing people to become obtuse. They walk into water fountains texting—fall over potholes, get into car accidents and miss the bus/boat all because they are so enthralled by their addiction. They can no longer think on their own merit without the use of their handy-dandy technical armour. They are now growing radical tumors at the tops of your backs like the hunchback of Notre Dame. It is called a Kyphotic spine and it is what we evolved from. We are supposed to be erect—and social might I add. You cell phone folk are antisocial throw-momma-from-the-train hunchback dingbats with radiation running through your every pore. Get a fucking clue. -Smartphone, Dumb People