I have held my tongue for too long now. I know what you sent that other woman and I know what she sent you. I have been by your side through thick and thin for the past seven years. Our daughter is now three and you decide to pull this shit? Telling another woman that her pictures will keep your warm while you’re away for the weekend for work made me so sick I didn't sleep longer than two hours each night you were gone. I didn't say anything because you were dealing with explosives and I wasn't going to be the cause of our daughter losing her father. Then to see pictures you sent her FROM OUR HOME, well that is the last straw. You can bitch at me all you want and try to deflect suspicion from your actions, but guess what buddy? Tonight it's all coming out for the world to see. —A very pissed-off fiancee

Oh my god! Is it a gorgeous, beautiful day outside? Tell me again. Two-thousand times today just isn't enough! Good thing you're all here to let the person working a 12-hour shift know that they “should really be outside.” I'll keep it in mind for when the whole concept of employment changes and I can just do that. Thanks! —I know I'm whining but that's why it's called a “bitch.”

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE NOT A GIANT ZONE OF CANADA CORDONED OFF FROM ALL MODERN ACTIVITY AND ONLY HUNTER-GATHERING, HAND-CRAFTED LIFESTYLES ALLOWED? —Infuriated City Slave

You know when you feel all gassy and you just know a good fart would make that constipated feeling go away AND YOU CAN'T FUCKIN FART? It's terrible. ALL I WANT TO DO IS FART. FOR FUCK SAKE, JUST LET ME BLOW ONE OUT MY HOLE ALREADY!!!! —Fartless in Halifax

Well, here we go again Canada running off to save the world. However i do have a rant, why are we taking people in from war torn nations only to have our guys and ladies to save there nation people come here get free welfare home and board running from there home only to have our military leave ours immegrants come he spouting there beliefs to us while we go die for them forget that if you come to Canada either plays by our rules, help us help you return your nation to you or get out We have Merry CHRISTMAS here not happy holidays. we have laws and courts that we and you must abide by etc if you come here looking for a free ride because you will not defend your own country why should we defend yours if it were me and i bet the majorityof Canadians we would not send our sons and daugters to your home since you cannot live in our by our rules....Nor will you defend you own —defend your own nation

The common college bird, formally known as the Studentus Universitatis Froshus, tend to gather in large flocks, as can be seen in the backyard nearby, and in other urban settings. The males of the species can be readily identified by their backward facing caps - similar to the black-capped chickadee - but are much larger in stature. They can also be identified by their guttural mating call , "Aaaaargh, Aaaaaargh, Aaaaaaaaargh", and their displays of overt masculinity. The females of the species tend to be, but are not necessarily, smaller in stature. They typically do not display the backward cap, and have a more piercing mating cry, "Eeeeeeeeee!, Eeeeeeee!, Eeeeeeeee!" The mating ritual begins around a fountain of liquid. Both members of the species can be heard to utter the common cry, "Chug, chug, chug" as they begin to satisfy their thirst. Once the males and females are sufficiently satiated the mating dance begins. The males posture for the females. The females strut for the males. Their cries grow louder and louder, "AAAAAARGH!, "EEEEEEEE" "AAAAAAARGH", "EEEEEEEEE". As the evening progresses many of the common college birds pair up for the night. The process escalates in proportion to the amount of liquid consumed. However, those who are unable to pair up eventually fly off to another watering hole sometime after night falls in the hopes of finding a mate from a different flock. This often results in competition and confrontation with other males and females competing for suitable mates. The mating calls of these hopeful birds can be heard well into the early hours of the morning: "AAAAAARGH", "EEEEEEEEE", AAAAAAAARGH", "EEEEEEEE". The unsuccessful birds eventually return to their nests before daybreak but they, and even some of the successful birds, will repeat the ritual the following weekend. —Full of beans

No. Just. No. This is doomed to fail. The Ghostbuster fan base is so hardcore that a lot of them don't even want a third instalment now that Harold Ramis is dead (R.I.P.) but to reboot the film entirely with an all female cast? Not happy. First of all they are changing all the characters and it will have "No connection to the original film". So, it's not really Ghosbusters then, is it? Second of all, the cast that they have assembled (Melissa McCarthy and Kirstin Wiig for example) is bullshit. If they HAVE to make this film an all female cast, they should get some unknowns or some better actress'. Melissa and Kirstin are the female equivalents of Will Farrel and Seth Rogan. I like all four actors but they are pretty much the same in everything. —Slimer

I just finished a comic for submission to The Coast: It looks like a solid black square, but it's actually an incredibly intricate pseudo-"trippy" line drawing consisting of a suffusing miasma of phallic images set in a background of utterly irrelevant nonsense. There's some dialogue, too: "My brain is in the French press! We must harness the power of ninja tomato!" cries Captain BamJam to Billy Masonjar, and our intrepid hero responds with a hilariously witty rejoinder, "Pump up the magic flange, Captain! We need to get to egg land!!" Tune in next week for the next thrilling installment! —Not Cool Enough To Understand These Comics

Got in my car to drive to work today only to find my driver side mirror was smashed off. Hard enough to make ends meet without having to repair my car because someone either vandalized it or couldn't stop and leave a note. Thanks for making my week. Replacement mirrors are also proving to be difficult to find, so that doesn't help either. —Poor, sad student

\ Hey cancer: fuck you. You killed a friend of mine last Saturday. I hope that cancer dies of cancer of the cancer and fucking suffers. Liver cancer is a lovely thing to die of and chemo is so magical...oh did I say F-u cancer? Prick. —Quantum kitty