Your new strategy of making the bus fast and effective by keeping people from riding it is going to be a booming success. I really like how you started with this cool new rule that you're not allowed to take a cup of coffee on the bus. Way to alienate people from integrating public transit into their lives! You know, the next step should probably be angry red letters proclaiming "ASSHOLES INSIDE" broadside the bus and possibly you could lower the height of the door to three feet so we'd have to crawl inside. That would really make the few of us who still choose to ride transit after the last few years simply scurry away in fear and confusion. But who am I to tell you how to do your job? It's obvious that you're the masters of your trade - I'll definitely be taking my car next time. —Former instructor of the Linda Mosher School of Really Good Drivers