I love you, my tall, blonde, curly-haired boy, but I'm never coming back. I told you I wasn't ready to see you this week, but what I meant to say was that I will never be ready to see you. We will encounter each other through mutual friends sometimes, yes, but there will never, ever be another session of you and I. You were an awfully selfish and emotionally unavailable boyfriend. Nonetheless, I do hope you find someone to shake you out of your immaturity and haphazard ways, and I do wish you the best—sincerely. But please, just let me move on peacefully. —Bittersweet