To the guy who checks our electricity panels once a month, who are you? I have the most gigantic crush on you and I can’t even figure out what on earth you are doing when you drop by the office and take off to the electric room. I also never know when you’re going to show up, which is a problem since I often wake up late and roll down the street to work looking like a homeless person. Please at least let me know your first name so I can put my Facebook stalking skills to good use. —Hot & Bothered Receptionist