I was so hurt... that day I thought you'd dumped me. You said you weren't ready for closeness and that I needed more from you than what you can give me. I felt so rejected and I didn't know why I was being rejected... I felt like all the things I told you, and all the intimate moments we spent together were meaningless and that is why you wanted me gone. I figured your distance and actions were because you were with someone else or not interested in me because of someone else.

I think about you every day you know. I want to talk to you all the time, but I feel like I can't message you. I have never met someone like you. After making that connection with you, texting with you for months, seeing you in person, how do I go back to how life was like before? I wasn't miserable before you, but I am miserable now without you. It is so hard to open myself to anyone - do you know how ridiculously easy it was for me to open myself up to you? How safe I felt with you? I feel invincible with you. It's not that I needed you to complete me, I don't need anyone to complete me. But, the things you do to me...

I think I finally understand where you were coming from. Like maybe you were "someone's" for so long—that you can't be that for anyone right now. I hope you know I would do anything to be with you.

That day we went to the beach, and you played "Summer Love" in the car—you touched me—my mind was caught up in a whirlwind of possibilities. Was that just me reaching for anything that gives me hope? You have made me feel alive, and made me realize what I've been missing in my life. You are SO beautiful—your eyes cut through me to the core, I dream of kissing your lips at night... Was that kiss you gave me on the cheek that day the goodbye kiss and I am just too much of an idiot to admit it to myself?

Now I am probably one of those people on the hated list I'd heard so many times when I was on the inside. Now I'm on the outside, looking in... And it's so cold. I could lie and say this is without expectation, but I will always do my best, regardless, not to put my expectations in front of your needs and feelings again. Even now. I just wanted you to know how much I have missed you. Missed your messages to me, missed having you care about me. To check in with me, to shoot the shit with me. And to be close with me. I want so much to be close with you, and to you. I had so many fantasies built up in my mind of you. The reality of you—blew away the most hopeful anticipations I could have ever had of you.

I told a mutual friend I was falling in love with you that time we went to the beach. That I was trying so hard to keep it contained because I knew that you needed space and you didn't know where you're head was at. But oh my god it feels so right with you. I wish to be one of those people you can say you love without hesitation. The luckiest people in the world from my perspective. I want to earn that you know. I want you so bad. I know it all happened kind of fast. If that is my fault I'm sorry, I really had good intentions you know. I'm not a bad person! I never wanted to hurt you if that is what I've done! If there was any way I could be with you again, if I had an opportunity that I missed because I didn't tell you my feelings, I'd never forgive myself. So here I am, for you, always. —Dartmouthy