I've been slowly falling in love with you since the day we met - since our store manager told me to "go help the new guy" because he was "too much of a perfectionist to fold a damn sweater". You're sweet, and smart, and kind. You make me smile and laugh at my phone in public. You never fail to drunk text me at 2am to ask if I'm "dt orrrrr?" You're also inconveniently taken. But let's focus on the positives, yeah? —Your smitten best friend.