So, I'm walking my scathing ass downtown when I see an asshole abandon his Mercedes in the middle of an intersection, while running, during rush hour. What the fuck? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Oh, you're helping an old man in a wheelchair make it across the street. Oh, you're actually a sweetheart who doesn't give a shit about the traffic or your fancy friggin’ car. Looks like I'm the asshole. Thanks for helping that guy. You fucking rock. —Little Brown Pedestrian