If you don't like pineapple on your pizza that's cool. If you are of the notable minority that does like pineapple on your pizza, that's cool too. I just want you to be happy. —Garlic Fingers

To the mystery man at a popular downtown Irish pub who anonymously paid our table's bar tab ($130+): A massive thank you! Apparently someone had done that for him one time and so he was paying it forward. Haligonia rocks! —Dartmouth drinker

I saw you standing in the back at the Punk Rock Tribute night at the pub. You are gorgeous, and I love your long brown hair. I tried several times to get to you to talk, but couldn't get away from my friends. I'm the girl who got stuck in the mosh pit. I'm the petite, brown-haired girl with ripped jeans. I turned around and you were gone! I wish I had another opportunity to say hello! —Punk rock lover

Thank you for listening and therefore better understanding. Thank you for not getting defensive; remembering I can to you about me. Thank you for letting me finish my sentences; that was really nice —Sincerely

To the cute girl in the white rock band t-shirt—pretty sure it was AC/DC or Def Leppard—who I shot tequila with at the bar last week. I'm sorry I was an asshole at the end of the night. No wonder you stormed off! I'd like to make it up to you.  [email protected] —That guy

You: Elegantly dressed gentleman with flowing hair and beard, patiently waiting for something...perhaps the bus, perhaps me.

Me: Siberian snow princess in the passenger side of an electric blue car, gazing at you with deep desire, getting all hot and bothered in my furs. I mustered the courage to wave, and you gratified my efforts with a subtle tilt of your head that said “sup.”

My friends thought you might be homeless, but I know that you are at home where ever you are—languishing on Spring Garden Road, or tenderly unearthing mushrooms in a pathless woods. Also you were impeccably dressed, so I'm pretty sure you have a home, which is great because I am so tired of living in my parents' attic. Let us abandon the city and return to the embrace of nature. You can wear my fur hat, and I shall keep myself warm in your beard. —Venus in Furs