Tuesday, October 16, 2018
I love the smell of your butt hole (seriously, what's up with that?) and that you treat me like a princess even though I cry all the time (princesses are allowed to cry, right?) and that I don't care if the world burns in carbon hell as long as we are together. You and that perfect butt make life amazing. I love you.
—The spider queen
—The spider queen
It occurred to me around two years ago that I was never going to get any closure from our “relationship”. I tried so hard to make you happy and show you that I cared, but you only seemed to have any real interest in me when I had given up and decided to move on. Why is that? Did you ever regret the way you handled things? I still think of you from time to time, and now carry a strange fear of crossing paths. You have probably moved since we lost touch, but last year I moved into your old neighborhood. Sometimes, I almost expect to see you come around the corner in your suit on your bike.
—Girl who loved you
—Girl who loved you
Thank you for the thanks! My niece and I were having a day out and stumbled across the Canon. She was so stoked (and so I am I honestly) to see your thanks online! You made a 13-year-old feel like a superstar. It was the best teachable moment I can recall in a while!
—Thank you!
—Thank you!
To the beautiful young lady with glasses on the number 80 a couple weeks back, the one in the military green jacket: We exchanged silent nervous glasses and I regret not introducing myself. Maybe it was on account of a mutual timidness or perhaps I was awe-struck by your soft features. Whatever the case I'm putting all my eggs in the basket of serendipity and hoping our paths may cross again. However, if they don't, I'll remember those brief moments of eye contact fondly and I wish you a beautiful life as perfect strangers.
—Fat Moby
—Fat Moby
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
Little did you and your friend in the black utility sport vehicle know that after you threw a ketchup pack at me, there was a red light awaiting you 200m away. Thanks for agreeing to roll down your window so I could ask you calmly, "Why did you throw it? Did I do something wrong?". The light turned green before I could say "I forgive you for not being able to admit to my face you threw it and I forgive you for throwing it in the first place."
—Calm and forgiving cyclist
—Calm and forgiving cyclist
I just wanted to say how impressed I was with the wait staff at this new café on Lake Banook. The customer ahead of me was obviously living with a significant mental health issue and the barista and cashier were super patient and respectful of this customer. They made sure he was well taken care of and got the food and drink he was looking for. The other customers in line behind him were also considerate of his needs, and were happy to wait the extra time that it took to serve him.
It was a pleasant surprise in a hectic world! Thanks!
—Halifax bike commuter
—Halifax bike commuter
I'd been taking photos of models around Halifax all day. By the time we got to the Halifax Central Library, we'd been at it for seven hours and I was clearly getting forgetful. So forgetful, in fact, I set down one of my digital cameras outside the library and just walked away.
But you, beautiful, wonderful, you. You saw my camera and, instead of seeing dollar signs, you walked it into the Library and handed it in to the lost and found.
My knees buckled as the librarian told me 'yes' someone had found my camera. I couldn't believe that someone would do something so selfless!
Thank you, whomever you are, a million times over. Not only did I get my camera back, you also returned my faith in humanity.
—The very picture of a modern fool
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Thank you fellow classmates for reaching out to ask me a question when you struggle. I feel very smart when I can help answer your questions, even if it's just something simple. It makes me feel useful. Secret is, I struggle with some sort of un-diagnosed learning disability. I'm not sure what it might be—I just know I take longer to learn than all of you. I have to read a sentence two or three times before I can understand what I'm reading. I also can't always explain what I know, but I can pick the answer out if I see it on paper. I am trying super hard to keep up with all of you. I want to succeed, I really do. So thank you for asking me for help. It makes me feel needed.
—Future healthcare worker
—Future healthcare worker
This one goes out to the dearest woman who greets you with warmth like the sweetest aunt you've never had. She'll check your fragile ego with her unapologetically dry and witty humour. She's fierce and friendly—what a duo. And have you tried her food? Soul nourishing. Full of flavour. Dynamic. Straight from her grandmother's kitchen. And she'll give you a friggin' huge sample with a smile and a raised eyebrow. Recipes passed down through generations of matriarchs. And this shit is reasonably priced! She's got me scheduling my weekend around this market exchange—and putting kimchi on my morning PB on toast. Thank you, sweet lady.
—Your fan
—Your fan
Everyone at work thinks that I like you. They're not wrong. You're an intelligent, kind, giving, funny and cold-hearted turdburger.
—Chamomile creep
—Chamomile creep