This could technically be a bitch or a love, but my feeling is more so the latter. I work upstairs for a certain bank, and it’s becoming routine for me to go and get french fries on Thursday nights. Dunno why, but it’s a thing. Every time I come down there my order takes forever, HOWEVER...these french fries??? So hot, fresh,and on point salt-wise. EVERY TIME. you guys are my new favorite. —I’m REALLY loving it

Dear roommate: I know you're delightfully unobservant. That's why I was ecstatic when you left for the weekend to go to Quebec City and you left a pound of bacon in the fridge. I'm now eating the entire thing as a snack, and I know you won't even notice it's missing when you come back. —Fat and Not Sorry

I want your burritos in and around my mouth. —The nominator