Funny, you don't have the name of your driving school on your little red Toyota Echo sedan, but you had the words "Driving School" clearly attached to both sides and the rear of the car. Even funnier, you drove all the way from Coburg and Oxford out to the Rotary with your phone held to your head. Probably a good thing for you that this industry isn't regulated and you don't keep the name of your company on the car, dumb ass. —What is wrong with people

I'm sick and tired of people telling me how to style my facial hair. If you paint me as a pervert or a pedophile because of how I shave, then you are a fucking shallow idiot and I probably don't want to know you anyway. Last time I checked it's MY choice if I want to rock a totally triumphant moustache! Maybe it's time to reevaluate your stupid judgments, get to know me, and see what a nice person I really am. —80's 'stache

Thank you for validating the fact that I had just pulled off the most awesome parallel park job of my life. I parked in front of you Tuesday at 6:30 p.m. and left less than six inches between your car and mine. There was even less room between me and the car in front. If I'd had time I'd have taken a picture. So when I saw the note on my windshield two hours later I expected a testimonial to my fabulous abilities, not "thanks for leaving me no room, you cunt! Check your tailpipe!" Fortunately you did no damage to my tailpipe but you did reveal your driving incompetence and your egocentric point of view. Neither I nor the driver behind you had much space to deal with. We didn't jam you in there to make your life difficult. You're not that important. You're just a self-absorbed incompetent with lots of note paper and a pen. —Parallel parking prodigy

First off, watching two gay men kiss is creepy. Secondly, nodding at us to get moving when we noticed you was a bit insulting. We weren't in a massively obvious location for the world to see us. We weren't grabbing at each other. I am near certain if we had been two chicks you would have done nothing. Or if we were straight couple also you probably would have done nothing. To bad for you we both had penises. Get a grip. Times have changed and when two adult men want to kiss in the dim light on the empty street we shouldn't get dirty looks, expected to immediately stop and leave. I also shouldn't be restricted to only being able to do this outside of a certain bar. It's hard enough for gay men to feel comfortable in this city showing any displays of affections. —big open queer

I tell you to fuck off and not come to my shop anymore when you came around with another girl after essentially "fucking and chucking" me, as everyone puts it, and so your brilliant plan is to send girls 'round to fetch your sandwiches for you? Are you fucking thick? Do you just think I'm an idiot and that I will not notice? Again, FUCK OFF, you deadbeat loser. —please, just move

I'm a virgin. I'm a virgin. I'm a virgin! I'm not ashamed of it. Being still young, I don't think it's unreasonable to still be one. I just haven't found someone with whom I'm comfortable. There's no issue with admitting it if asked. I've never lied or pretended to know things I didn't know. However, you think that it's ok to just, you know, let everyone (even people I've just met) in on the fact that I'm a virgin. We were playing drinking games and because it's you, they're sexual. Ok, fine. This was what, our second drink of the night? You weren't drunk, but insisted I drink from a penis straw. I said "No, that's ok," to which you shouted out "Oh yeah! I forgot you're a virgin!" This isn't the first time you've done this. Little comments like "I just don't know how you can do it for so long with no sex blah blah blah." I just consider some things personal, and this is one of them. Furthermore you never asked me, just assumed and I've never told you otherwise. Don't put my personal business out there. The second day we knew you were dating your new guy, you told us "oh my God! He's a virgin! Didn't know those still existed!" I don't need to know that...I should put your shit on blast! God knows I have enough to say about you. You ragged on another friend who chose to lose her v-card to a guy she met at a bar one night. Said "I'd want it to be special, so disgusting, I don't know why she did that, etc." Who cares. I could just tell her about all your escapades which have been, by your own admission "crazy" and "bad." You know, you gotta stop telling me these things! You're just giving me ammunition and one day when you say something I might snap. But I'm not going to put your shit on blast because despite all you've divulged, it's not my place to tell your "secrets." This is anonymous and I can vent! I'll keep your business private, keep my lack of sex life to yourself! —Beyond annoyed

Don't ask for honesty if you don't want honesty. "Give me your honest opinion" does not translate to "tell me exactly what I want to hear," except maybe when you're translating from English to Douchebag. People go on and on about how they want the truth. But they do not. Perhaps it's a narcissism thing. Perhaps people honestly believe they are 12 times the size of God and have serious delusions that one's honest opinion about them or their shit will always be aggrandizing and fabulous. That if someone's honest opinion is negative, the only thing that could mean is that that person must be the biggest asshole on the planet. Instead of one of the honest few who will tell you your breath stinks when it does. Instead of punishing these people, you should value them. They're the only ones who will tell you what others laugh at behind your back. And believe me, they DO laugh behind your back. But you like them better because they have the connivance of character to lie to your face. The worst thing about this is that the average person reading this will go "yeah.. YEAH! Fuck yeah!!" But at the end of the day, will get just as offended when a well-meaning and merciful friend tries to tell them that gladiator shoes give them cankles or that they are completely tone deaf and can't carry a tune. Or that they are behaving in an annoying fashion. Don't blame someone who wants to see you do better. Blame yourself for sucking. Do something about it and get on with your life. Thank them for having the courage and dignity to gently tell you instead of getting angry because you're not the rockstar you thought you were. Or, you know, don't. And continue on blaming the doctor for the booster because the needle hurts. —f off

Driving down the left lane of the road. Running a red light after having stopped five seconds for it. Going the wrong way at the roundabout. Turning so slowly that I think that it's the wind pushing the car forward instead of the engine. Blocking the intersection of a four-lane road for no apparent reason. Stopping in the middle of the road. Blowing through a red light and forcing pedestrians to flee for their lives. Stopping in front of my car, letting in car after car while there is NO ONE behind me. Cars parked, blocking driveways. Cars suddenly stopping at GREEN lights. Where did I notice all this? Was it on that show "Canada's Worst Drivers?" No...it was my morning commute in Halifax today. People are stupid enough in this city when it's nice weather out. One fucking drop of rain falls and all intelligence and common sense flies out the window. I think over 80 per cent of this city needs to take a basic driving course. Not only do they drive excessively slow for an "urban" area, they drive like bleeding idiots! Fucking rural drivers in a pretend "big city." I'd like to see you drive during rush hour in Montreal, Toronto, Boston, New York or London. Drivers there would push you off the road. —Didn't see any cyclists

What is with the amount of cyclists that use sidewalks as bike lanes? I just had to haul myself and my dog out of the way of a speeding bike when I realised the person that yelled “ON YOUR LEFT” was a cyclist gunning it down the middle of the sidewalk behind me and apparently unwilling to bike around. As a pedestrian, I'm already forced to use extra precaution due to Halifax drivers routinely plowing down pedestrians on crosswalks, but now I have to dodge bikes on the sidewalk? Really? - Confused

To the biker in the green shirt and green helmet, Monday afternoon at the Connaught and Chebucto intersection: You didn’t seem to notice, but you cut off and narrowly missed being struck by a vehicle. The car was making its legally allowed right turn, and you were on your bike and decided to ride across a busy crosswalk without a walk sign. Perhaps if you want to cycle in the city you should learn the rules of the road, and while you're at it, those of a pedestrian. I myself am a pedestrian and that intersection is rough enough when you obey the stop and walk signs and cross when you're supposed to. Darting across the crossWALK on your bike without a walk signal and into a turning vehicle's right of way is plain stupid. Hopefully you read this and pay attention because you certainly didn't bat an eyelash or check around you before you put yourself and everyone else in jeopardy today. —Pedestrian that waited for the walk signal