I stopped smoking in 2009.
I don't particularly enjoy the smell of cigarettes.
I am completely ashamed and embarrassed of the city's planned smoking ban.
—Big brother is here

I recently took a stroll down Argyle street/giant sidewalk. I remember when the workers were laying the paving stones last summer and how beautiful it was shaping up. Not anymore! It now looks like a chewing gum and motor oil wasteland. I get the oil drips, but for fuck’s sake people, can you at least discard your gum in the litter bins? Or do we need to change the street name to Leopard Lane?
—G. Rant

Peanut butter-chocolate chip cookies?
—No!

It's great to have employers post available jobs on Indeed, Career Beacon, and so on. But please, I beg of you, take the job down once it's filled! I can't tell you how many jobs are still showing up, even though they have been filled for days, weeks, even a month! I could be using my time creating cover letters , resumes and submitting to jobs that are ACTUALLY AVAILABLE.>—Frustrated job seeker

What do you think you are doing? Canada's GDP is smaller than California's GDP. Do you really think you should be playing hardball with Trump? If you fuck this up—and cost me my job—not only will I refuse to vote for you, but I promise to never vote Liberal again.
—Blue collar exporter

Every year the university students come back and traffic turns to shit. Every year, enough of the stupid bastards fail—and by Christmas the roads have returned to normal.
You know the expression "What are you waiting for, Christmas?"
—Yes, I am waiting for Christmas!

You: A disgusting man leaving a north end pub after lunch on your bicycle.
Me: Also about to leave by bicycle.
I was taking off a long sleeve top and had a tank top underneath. You said “Keep going!” I responded with ”Learn some manners. It’s 2018.” instead of throwing my bike lock at your knee cap.
You biked away and yelled “Maybe you shouldn’t dress like a slut!” I wish I threw my bike lock at your knee cap. You sure deserved it. Your mom would be really disappointed in you.
—Sad cyclist

Bikers, I love that you're not polluting and I wish I lived close enough to town to bike in. But, when you're at a stop sign or a red light, that means you too! I've seen more cyclists run a red light or stop sign in the past month than I've seen actually stop—including one brazen cyclist who actually flipped off the car they cut off. Who do you think will be hurt the most if you collide? Just fucking stop!
—Road enduring dumbass

Did you check Kijiji before writing the eviction notice? Thank you for waiting until all the students snatched up every livable unit in our price range. We were long-term tenants who paid your mortgage. Thanks for everything.
—Crusty in Cole Harbour

You ignorant, racist, idiot fool! You phoned customer support for assistant with your issue—and when my co-worker answered your call, and started to resolve your issue, with her slight accent, you rudely and loudly say, "English! I want English!"
Have you just recently crawled out from under your rock? I wonder, how many languages do YOU speak? ONE! English, and you haven't even mastered it well enough to understand it when spoken with a slight accent! The lady that answered your call has mastered not one, not two, but five, FIVE languages! Mashi, Swahili, Lingala, and BOTH Canada's official languages, French and English. And SHE could understand every word YOU said! Yet you made up your mind as soon as you heard her accent that you would be an ignorant ass and refused to allow her to take your call.
She answers hundreds of calls each week, and everyone else understands her just fine. Shame on you! It's your loss, because she is one of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever met. Get educated! Multiculturalism is a distinguishing factor that makes Canada great! Canada’s success in integrating disparate peoples from around the globe through its policies and immigration system has been held up as a model for the world. You, sir, do not contribute to that. Now go crawl back under your rock!
—Frustrated and Furious