Listen I come to work every day never say a word do my job to the best of my ability, but when you decide that now I have become a target for your ranting and raving. Well I hate to tell ya you picked the wrong guy. I am sure there are great employers in this city who would love to have someone working for them who always shows up treats people with respect and likes to work. So you lost another person. Your loss, soon you will be collecting EI. -Bat-Ass Crazy Managers

WTF is with the Link buses? I can never find a regular bus to get on that will take me to Halifax from Portland Hills in the morning. There is only a stupid link bus that costs 50 cents extra and is always full so you gotta stand up all the way to Halifax (a 40-minute commute). Those money-grubbers Metro Transit need to fuck off with the Link bus and put on more regular ones. I'm tired of trying to find 2 quarters in the morning when I forgot to take money out the night before. I already bought a bus pass—that should be e-fucking-nuff! The stupid Portland Hills terminal has no change-maker or ATM. What a bunch of bullshit. FUCK YOU—THAT RIDE IS NOT WORTH THREE DOLLARS. I'M GUNNA STIFF YOU FUCKERS THIS MORNING AND EVERY MORNING BECAUSE I HATE YOU! -Stop ripping your customers off every chance you can get, assholes!!!

We agreed to terminate the little squirt, and you agreed to a vasectomy. Then you refused the vasectomy. It's a shame that you remain an adolescent boy. I had hoped you would mature into a man. Your choice. -Venus, "fly away fly."

Twenty-four months! This is where Sharia Law should come into place. I guarantee we would see a dramatic drop in this type of crime. If it was me handing down the sentence...you would be dead as fried chicken. -Whackem

I fucking hate you green bananas. I hate your hardness and gross not-ripe taste and how you make me gag. Then all of a sudden all seven of you are ripe and want to be eaten at the same time then tomorrow the uneaten ones are in my freezer waiting to become banana bread that I'll never make. Now I'm right back to where I started, with no bananas. And the only option is to buy more green bananas. Maybe a bit more planning would work but that would involve a twice- weekly trip to the grocery store which I'm not down with. And seriously, if I was into planning ahead I'd figure out something better to do than making a bacon hole. Fruit companies get your shit together. Fuck the bees, fix the banana situation. -Kirk P.

How I hate waking at 3am and needing to pee. Then what makes it worse is while I'm peeing I suddenly need to poop. This causes multiple problems for me now. The first being I enjoy pooping first thing in the morning immediately before showering, not after because I get itchy. The second being I don't have the choice to hold it in because sometimes it feels really cool. The third of course is being mid pee then having to manoeuvre to a sitting position while forgetting the toilet seat is up and I end up on the fucking bare toilet that probably has my fresh pee splatter on it. If they'd make houses with urinals I wouldn't have this problem. -I Wanna Go Camping

You've got the grace of an elephant and the mind of a spoilt child. Your dog doesn't even bark when you're not home, what do you think that means? Can't wait for you to move. -Take Care You

I would like to remind all citizens sharing our city streets and sidewalks in the proper use of a bicycle bell/horn. Cyclists should always ring their bell when approaching slower moving traffic...pedestrian or cyclists...from the front or the rear. Just a jingle, no need to lay on it. The bell is not meant to shoo people out of the way, but to alert them that a bicycle is approaching. Simply a "heads up" so I don't startle a little old lady into pooping her panties.

It is the overtaking cyclists responsibility to then make a safe move to get around the other party. Kind of like overtaking/passing vehicles on the highway with your car. Pedestrians, don't give me a dirty look when I jangle my bell. I only want you to be aware of my presence. Cyclists, don't be douches: ring your bell, have safety lighting, wear reflective clothing and drive safely obeying all vehicular laws. -Old Guy Cyclist That Does Not Wear Spandex

It's bad enough when people get hit by a car—and I, myself, have recently been hit. But for someone to hit my dog with their car, and then to just continue to drive away, really makes me sick to my stomach. Whether it's a person or an animal. It's not OK to hit someone and drive off. How can a person sleep at night, or even live with themselves? I hope they rot in hell. -You're lucky my dog is OK

You know what, fuck you. Fuck you! Ohhh, you have work that needs to get done, congra-fucking-lations to YOU!! You must be the only person ever on earth who has ever had work that needed to get done. What a rare and wonderful breed you are.

This may surprise you, so sit down, but the rest of us have work to do too. The fact that you seem to think you have the right to dictate to the rest of us that we have to drop what we're doing to get your work done, doesn't matter one little bit to me. I have a boss, it's not you, so go the fuck away. Don't come to my desk, wave your hands and rant in my face because I can't come and help you show someone else how to do your work. And ha ha ha, fuck you again, but going to another co-worker and trying to have them come to me and try to have me leave my stuff to go show this other person how to do your work, didn't work either.

Don't promise me and or my time to someone else, when you are more than capable of showing someone how to do your work, better still, just fucking do your work yourself. The time you've just wasted with all this bullshit could have been spent, oh, I don't know...working? Hey, you may not realize it, but other people have other work to do and we're not just diddling around waiting to help you out.

Calm the fuck down and just do what you're supposed to do and leave the division of work alone. -Not YOUR Worker Bee