Dear Valued Customer: When I ask how your day is going and you snap “just looking,” it takes every thread of self control not to punch you in the throat. News flash: I don’t actually care whether your mom died five minutes ago or you’re getting married tomorrow. I’m just doing my job. If you can’t be decent enough to reply “fine, thanks” just do me a favour and shop online.
— Seasoned Seasonal Retail Employee

I would love to share my general joy with the good people of Halifax, and my ultra-special joyous delight with the good hearted, kind, nice, fair, decent, moral people of the city’s taxi commission. I would love to see their faces when Uber and Lyft are in the city, rendering the existence of their office of extortion obsolete. Just like their office, they will perish into the dark pages of history books, leaving all the pleasant memories that every driver dearly cherishes.

None of them had ever driven a taxi or a limousine, yet they know all about it from their office bible (The Holy T1000 City Bylaw), a book they hold dear to their heart and are willing to defend with their integrity and honour. Well, the heavy burden of of memorizing a 25-page bylaw is finally over, and the days of their bullying soon to be gone. No more gloating like acid-tripping peacocks, no more constant long trips from the water cooler to the coffee machine, no more walking to their houses with victory smiles, kissing their children and telling them that mommy and daddy got a paycheque for harming people.

Merry Christmas and let Uber and Lyft bless you. Yours truly,
—BMW 750Li

I have a small suggestion for retail stores about people shopping with a backpack. First of all my backstory: My physiotherapist has suggested I use a backpack instead of a purse, as I fell last winter twice and my back is still recovering. It's easier than a purse and doesn't put as much strain on my back. So please please stop following me around like I'm a shoplifter and I'm going to clean out the store. It is so obvious.

A lot of people use a backpack because they're on a bike or don't have a car, and it's easier to carry multiple things home from the store. If you must ask me to leave my bag at the counter to ease your mind while I shop, please do, but don't insult my intelligence by following me around on your walkie-talkie or calling to other stores that I'm coming in their direction. Geez, there's nothing more embarrassing then being treated like a criminal. I even did an experiment and didn't take my backpack shopping and there wasn't a peep. Please think before you assume from now on. Not everybody is dishonest. All you have to do is ask.
—Tired Of The Backpack Assumptions In "Tis The Season"

I love my community library, but the school kids are using it to make out in during the school days. Staff turn their backs—thanks! Now I genuinely hate going to the library because it's like milď soft porn with teens. Yuuuuck.
—Do Your Jobs, Librarians!!

…who leave the bus with a loud "thank you" to the numerous, obviously ill-behaved transit bus drivers, why? I wish I would hear more "fuck you mister bus driver!"s.
—Sad (Black, Duh) City Dweller
PS: I would post a rant directly to such drivers but I doubt I would get through to any of these rude, racist psychos tbh.

I realize that you didn't like waiting in a long line at the checkout, I hate it too, but to throw salsa at me while I was trying to close and clean was just plan rude! It's not my fault that we are under staffed, call the manager for god's sake, don't take it out on me. Really? You just made yourself look like a complete asshole in front of everyone else, unless they are also assholes as well. Take it up with management, not me. I don't allocate hours for cashiers, I don't close cause I don't give a shit, I close because they don't pay me past my allocated hours. Ten minutes past my shift, I don't get paid for that, keep that in mind the next time you decide to chuck shit at someone because you are too angry to wait in line. Jerk!
-Pissed off cashier

Purchasing my meal at a checkout one day at the store where I work, and while scanning the item, I am snarled at by a crusty old bastard who barks "Do you work here?"  I say, "Yes, I'm just going on my meal break.  Did you need help?" He yells that he's on the verge of leaving his stuff and that our customer service sucks. Why isn't there an express lane open? (There are three empty self-serves available within four feet of us).  Also, three full-serve cashiers available.  The guy was loud, irascible and abusive.  And despite seeing at least four other employees who were NOT busy, he chose to growl at me. I did help you with your purchases before I went for my meal (at 8pm) and didn't treat you disrespectfully at all.  You didn't even thank me. What I couldn't say at the time, and choose to now is: You fucking asshole. You don't get good customer service because you're NOT a good customer. Next time, do us all a favour, DO put your items down on whatever surface you see fit (I would prefer you put them up your anus) and don't shop here. Life's too short for that bullying crap. —Just Being A Whiner

Something that happened a while back in a neighbourhood near you.

Innocent potential customer enters repair shop, asks a vague question, get a vague answer.. attempts to rephrase the question to be more specific but before being able to finish their sentence gets interrupted with attitude & an eye roll and a parroted response.. potential customer sighs, turns around, walks out of the store and goes to the next bike stop and gives his/her $ to them instead.

Successful businessing 101 dumb dumb…while keeping in mind that "the customer is always right" is obvious BS.. being kind & respectful to the customer (super simple) may = earning $.. being patronizing, probably not.

Losing business because of your ego, what a shame. What a major let-down and a huge turn-off your ego is…You're so fucking stupid. — Anonomato

Okay i work at a certian coffee shop, they are everywhere, you know which one. Ive been to 2 different ones in the last 2 days, both have messed up my tea. I work at this place myself, its not hard to make a fuckin tea properly. What the hell is wrong with people. I mean this job sucks, yeah i know, but come on...make the damn tea right

---Looking for a new job.