To the dude living across from the blues bar on Barrington St on the top floor: Curtains are very cheap at Wal-Mart and even cheaper at Value Village. Failing that tacks are $1 and I know you have towels cause I watched you dry your ass with one. You may enjoy your penis but I enjoy looking around without having one in my eye sight. I'm not trying to be a dick (get it, get it, huh?) but you're just not packing enough power to stand naked in front of your window with all the lights on. —Someone with working eyes

Dear guy sitting in the aisle seat, protecting the single solitary fucking seat available on the entire bus: Seriously dude? There are five of us standing. Don't pretend you don't realize it. Just keep staring at your phone and tweeting off, and liking stories about mass murder and natural disasters and Justin Bieber. Clearly you lack the capability to feel. Also, the idea of society means nothing to you. Looking at your hideous face makes me think that you would be a strong argument for bringing back public stonings. When you finally do look up and meet my glare for a split second, I am amazed to see that your eyeballs are not all-black. Despite this, I am positive that you are a demon, sent by Crowley, to remind everyone that evil is indeed still alive and well. I imagine there is a sizeable roster of you taking shifts on all the busy buses in the city wearing the douchiest of smirks. I am exercising the utmost restraint to keep from going Sam and Dean on your nefarious ass right now. Hey, there's another bus that's leaving town in a few minutes. Do me a favor? Be under it. Prick. —The Giz

Hey, smartphone thief who failed to turn in the phone you found on Saturday at Strawberry Hill, good luck using it with no airtime, it's not like I had just saved for 6 months to be able to load it with minutes this week so I could communicate again, or something; I'll just take the few $$ saved and buy a new phone that costs 3x those $$ (not). Hoping you get burgled soon, just for karma's sake. —I'm broke too but I pay for my stuff, asshat

To the individual who removed my 'No flyers please' notice: there are other activities you could be performing in your spare time besides scraping your fingernails against the metal surfaces of neighourhood post office boxes for the purpose of removing the small pieces of paper affixed with tape thereon, which contain helpful messages penned in green pencil crayon. I trust you can find it within yourself to discover a more rewarding, and appropriate, hobby. You can do it! I BELIEVE IN YOU. —Nicole

Here's a shout out to all the motorbike drivers who rev them loud. I love when you guys do that. My sleeping two month old baby loves being startled awake by that. People on the street are covering their ears when you do that because they think you're cool. It's cool to permanently damage kids' hearing isn't it? When I hear loud motorcycles it sends adrenalin through my veins and makes me want to yell a big "fuck you". —Trying not to flip out at motorcyclists

To the certain hotel worker who never shuts the heck up and is so over bearing just stop!! we as a collective can not stand your loud and super obnoxious ways. hate to tell ya buddy but you have not done everything in life nor have you done it better than everyone who talks to you, there is also no I in team if you have not noticed, —Your loving but very fed up co-workers

Floating eyesore, trashy, cheap bar on the water, call it whatever you want, those fucking "Harbour Cruises" have got to go. Once upon a time, some corporate fathead got the idea to offer harbour cruises for twenty bucks. What the public doesn't realize is that these are just trashy floating bars with overpriced drinks and cover charges. We can't sit under the beautiful trellises anymore without these glorified diesel barges filled with screaming drunks passing by several times, blaring horrible music and stinking up the air. It's a complete assault on the senses. When the fuck is the consumer public going to wake up and see this for what it really is??? —I wish you'd just sink

To the crew of drunken dudes chanting "Hey! We want some pussy!" in unison outside my building at midnight on Saturday: I assume you were on the way to the bar seeking vaginas with deludedly high hopes of intercourse. You may want to consider that those vaginas have real human beings attached to them, and when you assemble in ape-like packs chanting occult hymns of sexual objectification you create an aura of female repellant that hangs over your every encounter with a human female that might otherwise be interested in you. —Rudely awakened

Here's a hearty FUCK YOU to any restauranteur who makes servers tip out to the house. I don't care what you say the money goes to, making your staff PAY YOU to do their JOB is bullshit. It covers walkouts? Fuck that. Walkouts are the cost of doing business. As far as I remember, you hired me to serve food, not to run security. You wouldn't make retail employees pay for items shoplifted while they're on the clock, so why should servers have to pay for walkouts? It covers breakages? Fuck that. It's a restaurant, and unless you are serving your food and drink on paper plates and in plastic cups, stuff is gonna break sometimes. It's the cost of doing business. House tip outs are illegal in many Canadian provinces and American states. Fuck Nova Scotia for not getting with the program and telling businesses that it is not OK for their employees to have to pay THEM to work. —Restaurant Workers Unite

to everyone who orders coffee to-go and stays,
maybe if you didn’t stay for over an hour,
maybe if you tipped,
maybe if you made up your mind,
i might want to be nice to you.
—The Environment Is Not The Only One That Hates You