Picture this: People exercising at one of those public outdoor gyms, including some rugrats. Some self-entitled arse, lounging on one of the pieces of equipment lights up a smoke.

Seriously? Good move. Way to clear the area, bub. Maybe your kid didn't mind, but good on the one who let you know that they did.

I'm all for smokers exercising their right to smoke outside—hell, I've even done it myself on occasion—but this is right up there with smoking near doorways and in bus shelters. In other words, you have to look beyond the end of your own nose and engage your brain before you flic your bic. —cough, cough

Flatulent Facebook commenters fall into three groups: (1) the Mindlessly Mute, (2) The Page Hogs and (3) The Bumpers.

(1) The Mindlessly Mute: Since they have nothing to say because they have no minds, the Mindlessly Mute cannot properly be called "flatulent" which, if nothing else, suggests the expulsion of hot blow. No, the Mindlessly Mute, even if they happen to be one's "friends," expel no blow, hot or otherwise. They are just mute. They contribute nothing. They are dead weight.

(2) The Page Hogs: The Page Hogs have one thing in common: They flood the page with multiple, near identical posts. They come in two varieties: (a) The Commercial Page Hog who floods the page with his garbage since he wants to make money. (See "I Love t-shirt—not available in stores!") and (b) The Phony, the one who floods the page with photographs of his one obsession, birds for example, which he claims are his own but are obviously photographed from a published album of coloured prints of birds. He is a bold plagiarist. He is a thief.

(c) The Bumpers: Both the Commercial Page Hog and the Phony have one thing in common: They will bump any critical comment of their posts and replace it with one (or more) of their own even if their own comment is irrelevant to the criticism and has been posted hours or even days previously. It might be called a "Robo-Response" to shut down all criticism.

So there we have it—the Mindlessly Mute, the Page Hogs and the Bumpers—all contributing their share to the flatulence that is Facebook. —Unfriend This

To people who claim Dartmouth is no more and it's Halifax—get your facts straight!!! IT'S STILL DARTMOUTH. Same goes for…
Antrim
Bald Rock
Bear Cove
Barkhouse Settlement
Bayside
Beaver Dam
Beaver Harbour
Beaver Island
Beech Hill
Beechville
Big Lake
Black Point
Blind Bay
Boutliers Point
Brookside
Brookville
Caribou Mines
Carroll's Corner
Centre Musquodoboit
Chaplin
Chaswood
Clam Harbour
Clam Bay
Cole Harbour
College Lake
Conrod Settlement
Crooks Brook
Cow Bay
Dean
Debaies Cove
Devon
Devils Island
Duncan's Cove
Dutch Settlement
East Chezzetcook
East Dover
East Jeddore,
East Pennant
East Preston
East Lawrencetown
East Loon Lake Village
East Petpeswick
East Quoddy
East Ship Harbour
Eastern Passage
Ecum Secum
Ecum Secum West
Elderbank
Elmsdale
Elmsvale
Enfield
Fall River
Falkland
French Village
Ferguson's Cove
Fletchers Lake
Gaetz Brook
Glen Haven
Glen Margaret
Glenmore
Goffs
Greenwood
Governor Lake
Goodwood
Grand Desert
Grand Lake
Halibut Bay
Harrietsfield
Hackett's Cove
Hatchets Lake
Head of Chezzetcook
Head of Jeddore
Head of St. Margarets Bay
Herring Cove
Hubbards
Higginsville
Hubley
Indian Harbour
Ingramport
Jacket Lake
Jeddore Oyster Pond
Ketch Harbour
Kinsac
Lake Charlotte
Lake Echo
Lake Egmont
Lake Major
Lakeside
Lakeview
Lawrencetown
Lewis Lake
Lindsey Lake
Little Harbour
Liscomb Sanctuary
Lochaber Mines
Long Lake
Loon Lake
Lower East Chezzetcook
Lower Lawrencetown
Lower Prospect
Lower Ship Harbour
Lower Three Fathom Harbour
McGraths Cove
McNabs Island
Marinette
Malay Falls
Meaghers Grant
Middle Musquodoboit
Middle Sackville
Middle Porters Lake
Mill Lake
Mineville
Mitchell Bay
Montague Gold Mines
Moosehead
Moose River Gold Mines
Moser River
Murphy Cove
Murchyville
Mushaboom
Musquodoboit Harbour
Myers Point
Newcomb Corner
Necum Teuch
North Beaver Bank
North Preston
Oakfield
Oldham
Ostrea Lake
Otter Lake
Owls Head
Oyster Pond
Pace Settlement
Peggys Cove
Peggys Cove Preservation Area
Pleasant Harbour
Pleasant Valley
Pennant Point
Pleasant Point
Portuguese Cove
Porters Lake
Popes Harbour
Port Dufferin
Prospect
Prospect Bay
Purcell's Cove
Queensland
River Lake
Sable Island
St.Margarets Bay
Sambro
Sambro Creek
Sambro Head
Salmon River Bridge
Sambro Head
Sandy Cove
Seabright
Seaforth
Shad Bay
Shearwater
Sheet Harbour
Ship Harbour
Simms Settlement
Smiths Settlement
Sober Island
South Section
Spry Bay
Spry Harbour
Stillwater Lake
Tangier
Tantallon
Taylors Head
Ten Mile Lake
Terence Bay
Three Fathom Harbour
Third Lake
Timberlea
Trafalgar
Upper Hammonds Plains
Upper Lakeville
Upper Musquodoboit
Upper Tantallon
Upper Lawrencetown
Watt Section
Williamswood
West Chezzetcook
West Dover
West Jeddore
West Pennant
West Lawrencetown
West Pennant
West Petpeswick
West Porters Lake
West Quoddy
Wellington
Whites Lake
Windsor Junction
Wyses Corner
Yankeetown
Bedford
Beaverbank
Birch Cove
Fall River
Glen Moir
Hammonds Plains
Lower Sackville
Middle Sackville
Princes Lodge
Upper Sackville
Waverley
Wellington
Windsor Junction

I'm getting tired of visiting local small businesses with HUGE attitude problems. Everyone is supposed to love the local and support the community, but it becomes difficult when these businesses don't create a welcoming environment. I worked in a small retail shop for six years and it was our first priority to welcome our guests with a smile/joke/hello to break the ice.

Please don't turn your head and ignore me when I enter. Please don't force me to demand service while standing in front of you for 30 seconds, waiting for you to grace me with your attention. Please don't create a hostile silent shopping environment and please stop making me feel like a pariah for trying to make small talk while I'm in your shop (nervous laughter ensues).

Another shop has recently been added to my list of no go's, and my discovery of a small gift shop in Dartmouth I will keep to myself. From one small business owner to another, customers pay the bills and allow you to practice your passion. Try not to alienate them, and I wouldn't be reading about how hard it is for the small businesses of NS to keep their doors open. —Trying to Love Local

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I like you as a friend. I am not interested in you as anything more. I should not have to keep telling you. I can't even fuck you drunk! Like come on, you dick is so skinny and small and you have biggest balls I've ever seen.....they are bigger then your dick. When you went on all fours and tried to get me to lick your asshole, I actually threw up a little in my mouth. Oh I love to be freaky and enjoy a nice asshole licking from time to time, but I can't even kiss you without getting grossed out.

I cannot keep being nice to you. If you try to fuck me one more time I am going to tell you how much I try not to get sick when I look at you. I am forever going to have nightmares about your nasty balls. God, I've never had to be rude like this before. Why don't you respect me? Now I know why you're 35 and have fucked less then 15 women your whole life. —Nightmare forever

They think with me it’s like some movie, like it’s some life-changing script for the benefit of, of, of the audience…. Maybe they think they’re my audience and maybe I don’t know.

But shut your mouth, John. Stop looking at me like that, Jane! Because well hey there, the theatre lights just flickered, came back on, out, on, out, on and on and on and each time is another end but maybe you would call it a beginning. All I know’s that in the blink of an eye there’s a thousand little suicides. And I’d like to spit in this cat’s eye.

Go ahead and call it poetic, dramatic, unsettling, go ahead. I dare you. Just remember that you can also choose truth in this game, and that’s when you’ll know that I’m not anyone’s character and if this is a movie then we’ve hit the credits, rolling on and on, trying to give meaning to the scene, trying to name each and every…on and on until finally turned off. —I am fine. Please stop asking.