to the spaced out wes anderson extras who cutely zigzagged around my car while i patiently waited for their march of the hipster penguins fashion show to end at the crosswalk- ("secret high five handshake Zephyr! we've once again slyly subverted the man and taught him a thing or two about pedestrian rights, all in off-beige bohemian canvas sneakers and our accessory dog!"). If you can avert your clear blue eyes from your privileged future for a brief moment and look where you are going, you'll make it back to daddy's Iloft quicker, and I can get to work on time. not that you aren't adorable. thanks. —exhausted

Every time I go to a hairdresser they tell me they can't do my hair the way I want it! I take pictures from hair magazines, so to better explain what I would like for my new hairstyle but alas they tell me not possible but they most definitely want to cut my long hair. Where is a gal to go where the first two things immediately stated are, "I can't do that." and "I would love to cut lots of your hair"? I hardly ever go to a salon now because it is so frustrating, annoying and always a let down. —Hair stressed

Dear sad sack, So you wuz creepin' me on facebook, keep writing me notes n shit, askin' "Do I remember you"? Yet, you ain't add me as a friend, for some reason... even when I send you a friend request to see who da fuck you are. You got 3 photos of you in a pair of shades holdin onto a kid that's never smiling and there's a lotta commentary about your baby mama drama and how you ain't allowed to see your your son. You keep emailing me, so I ask you "When we goin' out on dis date? Your response. "How about a coffee sometime? Do you live alone?" You know what that response tells me about you? That you're ONE cheap muthafucking BUM only willing to put up $2.00 on a date, thinkin' you're bout to get up in my crib for some a this fine bootie? Really? Boy you need to go on. You can't handle your shit now. Can't even afford to take a lady for a decent drink or a meal. Fuck off with your double-double. Go on and do society a favor, stick your dick into a light socket and sterilize yourself bitch. —Ain't no Down Low Ho

So I do a lot of biking in the wintertime to and from work, and I had a sore ankle so I stopped for 3 days or so. The last night I biked home it was raining so a lot of salt ended up being left on the drivetrain, and the salt made it rust up pretty bad over that 3 day period. The bike sits in the doorway, and my roomate was sitting there with some girl he met on the internet, and she tells me in a condescending tone "you wanna get some lube on that drivetrain". I tell her that it's winter and that's what happens when the outside hose is shut off (to rinse after). Two days later my roomate has the nerve to tell me to stop emberassing him by having a "rusty" drivetrain, and to "keep it in good shape". That winter bike drivetrain is getting replaced at the end of the year anyways. —Getting really sick of the attitudes of spoiled little student drama !@#$s

How can a respondent list "Matrimonial Assets" that were purchased by the petitioner after the separation date the respondent states? And how can a respondent list "Matrimonial Assets" the petitioner owned before the relationship ever started? —Baffled with Divorce Law

Why do people pack their bags when the prof is still talking? You're paying to hear what they have to say, so sit down and shut up until they're done for christ's sake. What the hell is wrong with you? —Not like I'm trying to hear or anything...

Not much else to add besides these people are fucking lunatics, and should be institutionalized. —god HATES Us All :)

Yes, I know that we should love our trees and protect them. But if the sidewalk snow plow happens to hit the tree that is between the sidewalk and the road, ie on city property, forgive the driver. I would much rather have a clear walkable sidewalk for myself and the seniors in our neighbourhood than a pampered tree —Rattale

I work at a retail clothing store and today 2 girls walked in together and tried a few things on. One of the girls was obviously petite, so while her friend watched her try on some pants she proceeded to tell her "holy girl eat a cheeseburger". The friend did not take the comment personally I am only writing this because I overheard the comment and I think it was in fact rude. I'm a naturally slim person myself and its just tacky to comment on someone (especially your friends) body image in a negative way. We all blast others for making comments on people being overweight, the same applies to everyone else. You wouldn't tell an overweight person to lay off the burgers while watching them try clothes on. Just because people are thin do not assume we don't eat or we try to be as such. Just like any person who would like to lose 10 pounds I wouldn't mind gaining 10 and i'm sure the same goes for many other petite girls. Its in fact harder to gain weight then it is to loose it. So stop with the tasteless comments especially to those who trust you to be their friend. —Skinny but not Annie

The problem isn't that the hallway is too big it's that the hotdog is too small. —Not me.