I'm sorry but how is the Ecology Action Centre membership magazine a responsible contribution to our environment? Eight-plus colour printing with photos? Trucking and labour to get these things in the mailbox? Really?

Love the “NO FLYERS” mailbox stickers you guys give out though. —Trees R US

Dear Mayor Savage et al.,

If you truly investigated how all the other 'world class' cities operate, you would quickly notice that they ALL HAVE AFFORDABLE AND EFFICIENT PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. Figure it out.

PS: Tourists love good public transportation too. —World Class Citizen

So you take donations for the SPCA—that’s great. Good for you. But when you then use sticky traps for your rodent problem, isn’t that kind of two-faced? Sticky traps are outlawed in most of the US because they’re widely recognized as being insanely inhumane. Especially when there are much better options. Kinda gross that you preach a love for animals, but torture them behind closed doors. —Actual Animal Lover

WE really should be thanking YOU. You know us (users of the scenic fifth floor reading room at the public library) and our repressed sexual proclivities (foot fetishes) even better than we know ourselves.  You know that we are all just sitting there pretending to read, but deep down we are DYING to see your bare-ass feet up on the coffee table. We await the moment you regularly come in, take off your shoes and socks, and unleash your sweaty man-hooves up on and all over the communal furniture, with  bonus titillation for those of us sexually aroused by foot fungus and general dude-foot gnarliness. Everyone who uses that reading room loves it, and what may seem like collective retching or an oppressive wave of utter disgust is actually all of us orgasming in unison. I’ve arranged for you to get the key to the city for your dedicated public service. —Repressed Foot Fetishist

Dear LGBTQ,

You are the most inclusive community I know. It is an honour to hang with you. I think it is time to step up your game and add one more letter. S as in straight. —SLGBTQ Supporter

Geezus are you serious ? You fucking candida yeast hippies blame everything on the fucking candida. Candida is a natural occurring yeast in the body and there is not a single scientific explanation that it causes any of the symptoms if claims. It's just something to blame for all the problems like any hypochondriac.  —Shove A Roll In Your Hole

When you talk so much about eating local and drinking local, and then buy the cheapest bacon money can buy from your local Walmart, you come off as more than a little two-faced. Halifax is full of so many great food suppliers and yet you fill your fridge with meat and produce from big box chains. At the very least stop your lying or change your wifi password. Everyone can see you carrying your groceries into the cafe. —Cafe Complainer

Doesn't life just blow your mind sometimes? Like really, the mid section of life 25-55 you'd think would be your most enjoyable! You get to make your own decisions as an adult, generally healthy—maybe marriage/kids/home-buying—EXCITING TIMES. But why do I find myself envious of my recently retired parents? Or my 2-year-old nephew? Because I’m just beginning the next 25 years of my life: WORK, WORK, WORK. Mind you, I have  great pay, great benefits, a respectable position, never working over 40 hours a week but OMG I feel like it’s my whole life! Like waiting for that two-day break a week, suffering through a bittersweet Sunday. It doesn't seem right when I value time with friends and family—being active and outdoors MORE than money, does it?

I know everyone does it and they always will, but this 8-4 Monday-Friday for the next 25 years is altering my mood. I need to separate form society and farm some potatoes. —Get Me Outta Here!

Every time I go in a certain grocery store for a two-litre bottle of Big 8 sparkling water, there is never any on the shelves.  I made another special trip to your store for nothing, you bastards. There's always that awful salty soda water that nobody likes, but never any sparkling. WHY? Is it because you'd rather gouge your customers, forcing them to buy that expensive Pellegrino that's only half the size of the Big 8 brand and not as bubbly, but double the price.  Why can't your no-good stock boys keep Big 8 sparkling water on the shelves? There is never any there. Like, the last 10 times I went in—NONE! But there is always a price marker on the empty shelf, so I know you still carry it.  Those stock boys are just lazy and don't want to lug more out.  They're all out back smoking and not doing their job. Get it together! —Mini Pizzas And Pellegrino

So our week started with cleaning up the mess you left by smashing the rear window of our car, and strewing stuff around before you left with about eight dollars worth of bridge loonies. Well, that sucked. And we are not that angry at you, but we sure hope you don't do that again to anyone else. Everybody hurts, man. And unloading your pain on others doesn't fix anything, really. It just makes the pain bigger for all of us. —Come On, You Can Do This