For the last month I have lost count of all the times I have got splashed by asshole drivers. Yeah you asshole drivers have to share the road with people who walk and use the bus. slow the fuck down when you see a puddle and people walking. One almost soaked my kid. Next time a driver decided to be an ass I'm going to let them know its not right and going a leave a mark on there over priced piece of metal. So drivers can you please take into consideration the facts that we have had a bad winter and some people have to walk on the road. —Getting fed up with drivers

You came into my store and bought something and I served you at the cash. You looked familiar and then I realized who you were. You were a chick who rejected me on Match.com. I wrote you a thoughtful message, took the effort to mention something on your profile that had nothing to do with your looks...days later I saw "read at X time on X date" and "she viewed your profile" along with a notification that you were online still searching...but no reply. Turned down flat. Now I see you and compare you in-person to the photos: 1)You're actually a lot chubbier 2)Your face is full of pimples and freckles 3)Nice darkles circles under your eyes....really hot lol 4)You have a deep voice 5)You have constant bitch face out in public And YOU rejected ME? LOL I'm actually better looking than you are. You made me that more relieved that we didn't meet. I would have been so disappointed. —Mr Rejected but fucking relieved

Let me start off as to point out that I am not a cheapskate. I have no problem paying on the first date. I've taken women out to a nice meal and paid the bill on many occasions. My issue is that society expects me as a man to foot most of the bills while in a relationship. I make decent money, however I'm not rich. I make $70K, not $700K. Yet it's practically expected of me to support a woman. This expectation is amplified for me since I'm below-average looking. I was recently dumped by my girlfriend of 2 years after asking her if she could pay her own student loans. I made $70K while she was barely pulling in $30K per year, so I had no problem covering the entire rent of $1400/month while she got the smaller bills power, cable, car payments, gas, etc. The other monthly bills combined that she had to pay were only about $600, less than half that I was paying for the rent, so I didn't think it was that unreasonable to expect her to pay her monthly student loan payments of $300, especially since she was paying them when she was single! She dumped me, telling me that since I was making twice as much as her, I should atleast put something towards her debt or it meant I didn't love her. So according to her, money equals love. My argument is, I don't want to get taken advantage of, as this has happened in the past. One lovely girl in my past slowly took more and more from me. Started off with me paying all the rent (since I made more, I felt it was fair to get the big bill)...then she wanted me to buy her a car, and eventually pay all of her bills....when I told her I felt used, she proved it and dumped my ass. After being dumped, my own mother tells me I'm cheap and should have helped her out with her debt. My buddies told me since I'm ugly I was lucky to have her and that I should have paid up. Really? So it's unreasonable for me to expect a woman to pull her own weight? I'm ugly, so I guess I have to pay to keep any woman?? Fuck that shit. I'm not looking for a prostitute, I'm looking for a woman who will like me for me. —Ugly but financially stable

The robins have arrived, but those early birds aren't getting any worms this year. (It's basically christmas at easter in case you hadn't noticed!!!) This is why I have a weird apple chunk/mealworm/sunflower seed/water bowl buffet thing going on in my backyard. It's for the chickadees and the White-throated Sparrows and the Robins and the Woodcocks. That's right, Woodcocks. You should youtube "American Woodcock shows off dance moves" right now. Trouble these days, is, your outdoor cats are climbing up on the snow banks, or hiding in the drifts, all with the purpose of murdering birds for sport!! WTF, neighbors. I know these aren't strays, I hear you calling your cat in at night, and that cute calico one has her name in sparkly letters on the collar. Did you know, it's a fact that every cat you let out, no matter how much you feed it, is just going to go out there and kill as many innocent critters as it can get its paws on? There aren't even any floppy leaves around this year for your cat to chase instead. That really sucks for the birds, dude. They've got it hard enough. The poor things flew up here for thousands of miles, down from south 'merica, real 'merica, etcetera. The whole way home, they were dodging smoke stacks, open ponds of toxic waste, light-bright coffee farms that have no bugs for them to eat, clearcuts, sky scrapers covered in trick mirrors, crazy spotlights on malls, etcetera! Somehow those little Turdus' (for real, Turdus is the latin name of Robin, google it) made it to our backyards. It's a miracle!!!!!! Right now they're pretty hungry I bet. So, I'm just asking you, would you please keep your pussy on lockdown? At least till the snow melts, and then you can let them out so they can kill all the baby nestlings. Right now the grown ups are hangry. You know what is a more awesomer cat sport? Tying a bag of catnip to a string, and tying that string to a ceiling fan blade. Try it sometime. Leave that innocent Turdus and the Woodcock alone. Thank you. If you don't have a ceiling fan, invite people over for a knitting party, make a cardboard kingdom, get some plywood and build a tree, install PVC tube tunnelling around the ceilings or watch every video of Maru for inspiration. —love a pussy, respect the bird

To the worthless piece of shit who stole the lights off my locked-up bike while I was laid up with a sprained knee: Thank you for kicking me while I was down and adding insult to injury. Fuck you, you miserable excuse for a waste of oxygen. —Walking but not dead

Don't worry, I picked his frozen body out of the snow bank of the 101 near Sackville, wrapped him in a bag and took him to he SPCA to be disposed of. I hope whatever tweet or facebook update you were likely checking, while your unattended 3 month old puppy was outside alone, was fucking important you selfish piece of shit!!!! Here's hoping you die cold, scared and alone!!! —SHITMD

Thanks to you, I'm now strangely attracted to guys with a man bun. Why'd you have to be so cute?! And how the hell do I even still think about you after this long?! Fuuuuuck —Still think you're handsome, uniform and all.

I'm just curious how many people are suing the city after wiping out on icy sidewalks this winter. I had to jump over a giant snow bank to cross the road and I did a face plant in the middle of the road, almost getting run over by an oncoming vehicle. I peeled myself off the sidewalk to find I had completely ruined my white cashmere coat!!! Once the snow began to melt in conjunction with blocked drainage pipes, it was slippery as fuck so I fell again, hurt my ankle and hand, ruined my other coat, a Le Chateau Peacoat that shit aint cheap... and got soakers in my 150 dollar fuckme boots in the river of a puddle! They have been soaked so bad over and over they smell like cornchip feet. I cannot wear these!!! I put my feet in them for a second, the boots heat up and they are hummin! WTF H^LIF^X!?! I'm putting my bill in to small claims court and I suggest other citizens do the same for ya'll broken bonez n cracked skullz and ruined attire! —nuthin to wear

9 muthafuckin dollars for a big mac bitch? dat's some bullfuck right there!!!! —Vegan No More

K, that bitch the other day really and truly pissed me off. You think you're fuckin better than me because you work a peice of shit call centre job? Guess what man, I worked lots of those too, finally worked enough of them to get the experience necessary to get a job that I could live half comfortably. Took me about 4 years. I always left jobs on good terms with another, better one lined up. I Worked there for 3 and a half years, and I worked fucking hard. I was one of the best on the team, clients loved me, I knew all the procedures and processes better than anyone else, any time constructive criticism was given I worked to improve and my performance reviews reflected that. I was let go with two weeks pay and a "sorry it didn't work out". I won't get into details but it was not performance related, I specifically had permission from my direct supervisor to do what I was doing, they fired me over it anyways. That was January of 2012. Ever since then it has been a real struggle to find steady employment. I have had a few temp jobs, a few that didn't work out for whatever reason. I could get into my whole life story but mainly I just want to say fuck you. I hope someone punches you in your smug little face and breaks every tooth in your fucking smug little grin, and then when you have to take time off work some stranger with no knowledge of your situation tells you you're lazy and worthless. Or better yet, I hope your perfect employment streak ends and you end up in the boat I'm in, and then go back and read your hurtful ignorant words. Oh and by the way, people pay into EI, they have every right to collect it, it runs out after a while, you can't just sit on it indefinitely. it is funded by their premiums. You only qulify for it under certain circumstances. It's not easy to get if you work in the service industry like almost all of our younger folks do. Don't you have something better to do than shit on those less fortunate than you? You have no fucking sweet clue what you're talking about. —TJ902