It's not my fault that you don't have a life other than gossiping about other people or talking about shitz that happened years and years ago. You drink like a fish, pop pills by the dozen and try to party like you're 20. Get a hobby, take up tap-dancing, get a cat, do something constructive but stop expecting me to entertain you and feed you gossip. You're 55 years old, bitch. —And That's Why I Don't Answer Your Calls

Dear Halifax, I've taken buses in a couple of different cities but you continue to amaze me everyday, collectively pretending that the back exit on the bus just doesn't exist. Unless you have a stroller, wheelchair, or walker, or some other very good reason, walk the extra foot and "EXIT AT REAR" like the signs say and keep the buses and passengers flowing smoothly. —You're making stops longer than they have to be

To the asshole(s) who broke into my favourite store last week and stole all their shit and put a wonderful women and her local business out of business ...... Go fuck yourself or selves. Stealing from a local buisness is one thing...but really? I hope you know you destroyed a persons life. You took all her shit, including personal family items, clothing that SHE MADE and now she has nothing. You know she has a family right? Do you even give shit? Probably not.... There's a very special place in Hell for you that even Dante couldn't dream up. Have fun, you deserve it. —No more Pasties for my Tits

Yeah, you, the dickhead going through the crosswalk at Connaught and Chebucto this morning during the advanced green. "Don't Walk" isn't a fucking suggestion. —Morning commutes blow enough already

Okay H.T. you pay your employees quite the decent pay and I'm sure it's safe to assume that the ones in charge of scheduling the bus routes/connection times make a lovely cheque; well they shouldn't be. They in fact, should have my 7.5s (heeled ankle boots mind you) up their dumb asses. Can't though, I'm too busy using my feet to walk home because the driver of the bus I needed, decided to roll out 25 seconds after rolling it in. My bus arrived at the terminal at the same time, we were directly behind it and any driver either A. paying attention or B. just not wanting to be a douchebag would stay put knowing people needed to get on. Not only did he drive off leaving at least 7 of us there, he stopped the bus (in a spot that was easily accessible & with no bus traffic whatsoever) to tell me he's not stopping after I waved him down with my 2 young children and groceries (no stroller & only 3 bags fyi). I am at my breaking point with the bullshit that is HTransit and it's too bad because there are a lot of really great drivers working for them but there are a lot of dickwads who have no clue what customer service is and are in no way capable of delivering it yet because they're unionized, nothing will result out of complaints and they are not held accountable for their shitty service. Fuck them. How about every time a complaint is filed against the block number, the driver is required to pay a penalty. They get paid to fill out accident reports, they should pay for making HTransit deal with a complaint file. Maybe that would motivate and give the drivers who give it no thought some incentive to deliver some decent customer service whilst delivering me to my motherfucking destination like it's their job or something. —Monithemommy

When it says "dog on lead" put your dog on lead. I have my dog on lead and I am walking in the leaded part of the park for a reason. —Ruler

Delicious. Delightful freedom. You won't be in my day to day very much for a while. Frankly, I hope it's serious, so I don't have to deal with you much longer. —Freebird

Her: In her own front yard getting ready to take her two dogs and her baby for a walk on a nice sunny day. Last check before she heads out - kid in the stroller one dog leash in hand and whoops dropped the other. You: two ADULTs: Walking/jogging with your dog past her house oblivious, it would seem to anything going on around you. Incident: Her dog got away and challenged your dog. You freaked out and yelled and screamed and kicked her dog and picked up your precious bundle of fur and scampered away. Result: Crying baby, dog who has now been kicked by an "animal lover". Woman who has been made to feel like shit for trying to take her kids for a walk and not having enough additional attention for you and you and your dog. Neighbours who don't want to see your face until you apologize to the woman, the baby and the dog. Advice: Don't bring yourselves to Connolly Street. Take your bubble somewhere else. We all have enough to deal with already. —The cone was on the dog but somehow you can't see either.

Because last I checked, "Stop" did not fucking mean just keep on fucking going regardless of the fact that a woman and her very clearly visible, completely white dog are in THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF THE ROAD at a FUCKING CLEARLY MARKED CROSS WALK. You almost killed my fucking dog you illiterate fucking asshole! I had to yank him back by his leash so hard he fuck YELPED to get him out from in front of your fucking car. And I know you fucking saw us because not only were your windows down as I was fucking screaming at you stop your damn car before I had to fucking choke my dog nearly half to death to keep him from becoming roadkill, as you drove away you looked back at me and mouth "sorry" with a fucking blasé wave of your hand, like you were completely fucking unfazed by the fact that you almost just fucking killed someone's pet. You rank piece of fucking shit. You complete and utter waste of human flesh. You fucking despicable, useless heap of magot infested, festering garbage. I fucking wish I'd gotten your fucking license plate so I could've called the cops on you. What if my dog had been a CHILD, you shitfucker???! You should have your license revoked! I hope all that blond hair of yours falls off and you get severe eczema for the rest of your life. I hope someone slashes your fucking tires and keys your ugly piece of shit car. I hope someone always steals your parking spot, and that all your house plants die. And for anyone reading this who might side with this bag of pus oozing herpe warts, no, this was in no way my fucking fault, because I was crossing from the left side of the street, and this crazy fucking lunatic was driving on the right lane, straight towards the well lit cross walk. I was half way through it, a few pases behind my dog, and we were almost in front of her car as she was coming up to the stop sign. And she just fucking kept on going, not even fucking slowing down at all! I'm completely fucking flabbergasted over this. What, did this fucking motherfucking inbred think I could fucking fly??? She came so close to me I could have put my hand out and touched her fucking car! And if she's so fucking blind and deaf that she really didn't notice us despite all the screaming and the fact that my dog is so white he nearly fucking glows, she needs to be slapped with a fucking drivers manual about a hundred fucking times and never be let near a fucking car again. —Pissed off dog owner.

If I apply to the C.R.T.C. for a specialty channel license can I call it Pawn Shop Television and run old war flicks all day? —Chumlee